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My essay in English
Getting rid of old notebooks, I came across an essay in English that I wrote some time ago. It's a stupid text, but at least it's cute and some may want to read it. Anyway, here it is:
Television-Test
Humanity lived peacefully on its small and distant planet. Fortunately, this little ball of joy was quite close to the star, but not too close. It turned quickly, but not too fast. The climate was relatively warm, but not too hot.
As a result, the planet can persist life forms, but not too intelligent life forms-people.
It would be a lie to say that all people are stupid. In fact, early humans were smart enough (smart enough to light bonfires in deep caves filled with coal). The only problem was that the general level of intelligence of mankind was constant, but the population was growing rapidly.
To analyze the stupidity of humanity as a whole is a huge task, so we will present you only the largest of them-television.
First of all, what is this television? This is, we can say, the attempt of mankind to achieve the highest degree of stupidity by remotely exploring the mistakes of even more stupid creatures-celebrities.
Since the name of this sublime concept is quite long, people prefer to use idioms (idioms = / = idiots, many confused) such as TV, TV or life. For technical reasons (the ink level is extremely low!!! from now on, we will use the idiom of television.
Now that we know what television is and how to misinterpret it, we enter the normal human habitat to watch television in action.
The dominant male returns to his shelter after a long day spent watching vakk (people call this action "office work"). He is tired and hungry, because union rules prohibit eating your boss (another typical stupidity, because the boss is always fat and has no obvious advantages) and other potential meals rarely enter the office.
The man hopes to eat a magnificent dinner prepared by his wife, but apparently spent the whole day watching Oprah and/or Portuguese soap operas. In addition, the little men brought a viscous green compound and ate it. There is no food for the male.
At the moment, he has two alternatives: cleaning his children, frying vegetables and feeding his wife intravenously to prevent her imminent death. However, our hero chooses the easiest way: he beats his wife, sends the children to sleep (and does not open the closet!) and watch a miserable football match between Otopeni and Fortuna Kovachi, eating pizza delivered to the house. Meanwhile, the woman accidentally falls into the remains of the composite. In his desperate attempt to maintain his vertical coordinates, he just smashed dad's bowling trophies.
The children took advantage of the situation to dress in my mother's wedding dresses (alas, she still preserves ancient artifacts) and went to drink in the bathroom. And all thanks to TV. Humanity will not survive the next generation...
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