Forums » Discussions » What It Means If You're a Girl Who Likes a Girl
Do you ever see a girl and can't figure out if you wanna be her or kiss her? Hello, this is my daily dilemma, and I'm here to talk it out with you! Bring real with yourself and thinking “I like a girl” can lead to a casual existential crisis, but it doesn't have to be too terrifying. Let me clue you in to a top secret memo from Planet Queer: We all start off with absolutely no idea how to deal with our feelings, but this improves with a lot of mistakes and some intense pop music-scored angst sessions (for the record, Haim is really good for this) — and, you know, conversations with friends. Consider me your queer big sister! I've even brought a few of my pals along for the ride, so let's get through this together.
Am I gay? What are these feelings I'm feeling? Do you want to stare at this girl for socially unacceptable amounts of time? Do you think she smells like good poetry? Have you memorized the order of her Facebook profile photos purely by accident? Yeah, you might like a girl. Your feelings for another girl don't mean the world is going to collapse around you though! Promise! As for whether this crush means you're gay...the truth of the matter is that nobody can answer that but yourself. There are no rules: You don't have to label yourself gay or lesbian or queer or any other word simply over butterfly feelings. In fact, you don't ever have to label yourself.
Sexuality is more than a spectrum or a gay-straight binary with bi firmly in the middle. There are a bajillion places being a girl who likes a girl might lead. You could realize you're 100% only into girls, but it might also mean you like kissing girls but really want a relationship with guys, or maybe it means something else entirely. The possibilities are truly endless.
As 19-year-old Isabela Villareal explains, "I identify as queer because I believe sexuality is a fluid concept. While I might fall for a woman now, I may develop a crush on a trans man some day. My sexuality and attraction to people doesn't rely on gender." But remember: Identification isn't for everyone, and there's no need to rush. "Labeling is more harmful than helpful to me because I'm so new to this," says 20-year old Naomi Waltengus. "I'm hesitant to give myself a label that might not fit. I don't want people questioning me or asking me to prove myself."
So rather than categorizing yourself the second there's a Valentine in your heart, take a minute to breathe: Your feelings don't have to dictate your entire identity from now until forever. Let the feelings exist, and accept that you have them. You can deal as they come and go.
They say that girls can easily find a pair for themselves in their environment. But it is not so. Public condemnation of such a connection is still practiced in small towns. Young women leave there hoping to find a mate for themselves.
Everything is exactly like that! I've only seen strong lesbian couples in big metropolitan areas like New York. There, nobody cares who you spend time with. I am glad that I live in a place where I can choose freely. But this does not mean that there will be no problems in such pairs. A relationship is a serious dialogue between two people. There are many blogs on this topic. I want to draw your attention to this a fantastic read. Read and maybe you will get answers to your questions.