over 3 years ago

Navigating the dating world can be complicated, challenging, and nerve-wracking, especially for those with ADHD. Regardless of your dating experience, here’s some all-around relationship advice you might just love.

So you’re looking for love. Maybe you’re dating for the first time, or you’re returning to the scene after the end of a long relationship. No matter the stage or circumstance, dating can be complicated, confusing and anxiety-inducing — and maybe more so when you have ADHD.

To help keep your cool as you find the one, here’s some dating advice (the same I give to my clients) for adults with ADHD — from what red flags to heed, to how to bring up your ADHD for the first time.

Dating Tip #1: There Is No “Appropriate” Timeline If you are recently coming out of a relationship, no matter the reason, know that there is no set time for when it is OK to start dating.

Well-meaning people may tell you that it is too soon or that you should wait a year, but the timeline is up to you. Follow your intuition. See a counselor if you feel that emotions rooted in the separation, like guilt or grief, are preventing you from participating in life activities.

Dating Tip #2: Keep a List When you meet someone with whom you connect, emotion can overtake reasoning. To remind yourself of what you are looking for in a mate, make a list of your ideal partner’s qualities. Phrase your list in positives, such as “Likes my kids” or “Enjoys the beach.” Instead of “Doesn’t like being late,” write “Likes being punctual.” You might add, “Understands my ADHD,” “Is open and gentle when discussing concerns,” “Sees my medication as a positive that is important to my treatment.”

When you have met someone special, go back to your list and see how many items your potential mate matches. Reviewing your list is a good way to consider someone’s long-term suitability.