The last year of my life has been a brutal one. At the age of 22, I am in the lowest of lows and I desperately need some help!
Here’s my tale:
About a year ago, a couple months after an extremely strenuous relationship, I began noticing that I was tired all the time…and all around, I wasn’t really satisfied. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed my friends, and activities…but life just wasn’t as bright and vibrant anymore after a month of noticing this ever-present fatigue, it got a bit stronger. I would wake up each morning completely zombie-mode…and that feeling would remain throughout the entirety of my day, until my head hit my pillow that evening.
Initially, I suspected some form of sleeping disorder. I set up a sleep study, got my thyroid checked, ferritin levels, all the basics. Sleep study revealed I sleep just fine and all my other blood tests came back negative.
The fatigue and the weight of the world slowly got worse over the next handful of months, UNTIL I woke up one morning and everything escalated greatly. I felt completely stoned. I couldn’t think right. I couldn’t concentrate. I felt inebriated. I felt totally disconnected and spacey. I felt as though I had no control over myself. I lost drive and motivation. I lost a lot of confidence. I always had an incredibly sharp memory. It was actually something well known about me to those in my family and friend circles. Yet, on this morning, almost all new information could not be retained. Things that happened earlier in the day, by evening, I felt they happened a day or two before. I could no longer recount the activities I took part in. This is possibly the worst of all the symptoms. The extreme short term memory. I have no context for time and I sort of feel like I’m just floating through life suffering.
For months I visited doctors getting tested by specialists. I visited a neurologist, infectious disease, I had an MRI, & I had about 20 different blood tests. NOTHING. My doctor literally said “I have no idea what this could be. I am beside myself” TOTES reassuring! I tried altering my diet entirely to organic and all natural. I continued my workouts and ran 15 miles a week. I tried sleeping even earlier. I tried all I could think of .
I have scoured the message boards and found a few people suffering from the same, but without answers.
The fact is that I had a similar feeling. I wasn't depressed, but I still felt sad. Nothing amused me. I constantly felt terrible, although I have many cool friends who tried to cheer me up, but all to no avail. Everything was okay with my hormones and organs. I was helped by a man from the East who told me that I needed to clear my mind of negative thoughts and other things. He advised me to read a brain dump journal, as well as a few more books. I didn't know that books can change your mind so much, but you won't believe it, after reading them, it's like I cleared my mind and now I feel great.