More often than not, though, the behaviour comes from fear of abandonment. “From what other people with BPD have told me, there's a tendency to push before you’re pushed,” Dr Romaniuk says. “You might create reasons to end a relationship, or create tests to make sure your partner is really with you. This is subconscious – it’s not overt manipulation. From your brain’s survival point of view, it’s always better to be on your guard and expect the worst.”

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