Foren » Discussions » How to handle partner contact with previous spouse
I am looking for some advice and guidance on what is reasonable / unreasonable in negotiating with my partner for 3 months.
I'll try to be as brief as possible. The TLDR version. is that I am concerned about the type of contact my partner continues to have with their old actual partner.
We have a very new relationship ca. 4 months, and we moved in together 2 weeks ago. I know this may seem a bit lenten to many, but it happened for a whole host of reasons; other than that we fell in love.
I am 50, she is 40, she has two children 12,14. She lived with her previous partner ca. 2 years. He's not the biological father, he died just over two years ago. There were a lot of issues that led to her wanting to leave and move, and she was planning to move on January 1 before she met me.
We started dating after ca. After 2 weeks, she told me that she was still living with her "ex". Since he provided housing as well as taking care of her children, her plan was to leave after she had saved enough money, as well as allow the children to spend Christmas with him, as they still consider him a father figure, as well as a relationship with his own children.
To say that I was shocked and tested by this discovery would be an understatement. Obviously, he knew she was leaving and going out with other guys. My first reaction was to end the relationship, as it was very complicated. Obviously, I've changed my mind.
During our acquaintance, I was constantly worried and worried about what was really happening to them. During this time, it was very difficult for me to gain trust, but in her presence, I always felt confident that she was telling the truth.
Anyway, we decided that she would move in with me. It only took me three days to face a very big red flag. She came home from work very angry, and for about 30 minutes, helping to cook her dinner and talking to her about her day, etc., she was very detached and complained about various things. I tried to keep my spirits up and put it down to her fatigue.
Then a few minutes later, I heard her laughing in the other room, and she was in her son's room, talking to the ex, laughing and joking, etc.
Maybe it will be painful to hear, but, most probably, you both were not ready to move in together. She got used to living with her ex. They know each other’s habits and preferences. So three months are definitely not enough to fill in all the gaps. This was the reason why she was joking with him, because he knows everything about her. He is aware of how to make her laugh even after a tough working-day. So admit that he won a little battle that evening. However, if she is cheating on you with the ex, you have to decide either to forget her and try to move on together or break-up. If this woman is really important for you, just check this source to find out how to rebuild the relationship after cheating. It helped me when I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with a coworker.